Friday, August 6, 2010

Does It Make Any Sense?

Logic versus heart. Maybe that's the conclusion for this upcoming post. After having gotten myself used to the idea of living together with hubby for the rest of our lives, hearing my friends' problems raising their young children makes me think more and more of the positive sides of living childless and I've started thinking that our current life is SO beautiful.

However, after "being unexpectedly thrown back on the wild roller-coaster ride of IF", it seems that my heart still longs to be a mother. I guess it's pretty normal, but it feels weird to have both sides existing inside of me: my logic tells me that we have had SO many more blessings than we could ever have dreamed of, yet my heart is dying to give my husband a child that is his own flesh and blood.

Just yesterday I had a flash of getting a positive HPT and then showing it to him. Crazy, I know! But at least 'coz my logic is still going strong, I'm not really flying on clouds number nine just 'coz my period hasn't started yet. Instead, my logic keeps me tied up to the ground and I think it's good to keep it that way.

Anyway, I just want to record this phase in my IF journey and if someone can relate to this, I hope that person will let me know 'coz I find this phase interesting he he...

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