During our holiday, I was planning to blog and blog-hop, but alas, the wifi in our hotel area wasn't that reliable, but then again it was a good excuse to have more quality time with hubby. We spent lazy hours in the comfort of our hotel room to avoid the sweltering midday heat playing Angry Birds LOL!!! We also sunbathed in the lounges and then swam a few times in the pool.
I also kept in touch with my mom 'coz I knew my brother's baby was due next week, so I wanted the update. The thing was that, in one SMS my Mom told me that on my last birthday, she sent a morning prayer like this: that if it was God's will, she hoped I could get pregnant but instead, the one getting pregnant was my SIL.
I was taken aback when I read the SMS, because I had clearly told her at least a few times that we had surrendered to life without kids and she had agreed that it was a good idea. This time I replied to her that we had been enjoying our life without kids and that we had even stopped doing it on my fertile window already and that we had been blessed with other blessings and we were thankful for those.
I told hubby that if I got pregnant without doing it with him on my fertile window, that would've definitely rocked our marriage. In my mind, the time we spent baby dancing during my fertile window for months and months of TTC = no pregnancy. The time we don't spend baby dancing during my fertile window these days = no pregnancy, correct? If the time we don't spend baby dancing these days = a pregnancy, that wouldn't be a miracle at all. But anyway, we didn't really linger on the topic 'coz it was tougher to "debate" in SMS messages, so the topic changed. Thankfully whenever something like this appeared, she never really tried to keep pushing at it and she knew when to back down.
Coincidentally speaking, another IFer friend sent me a message during our holiday. She and hubby had tried different alternative methods to get pregnant, but for the last few years (just like us), they had surrendered to the idea of life with kids. The problem is that apparently her parents kinda want to push them to try IUI. It seems that if they try IUI and then don't succeed, then they'll drop the topic 'coz IVF is just way too expensive for them.
The problem is, my friend isn't sure if they want to try. First of all, they have to think of both ways it can end: a failure or a success. After spending a few years of living life without kids and not thinking of life with kids, are they really ready to have a baby? However, if the IUI fails, are they ready to experience the emotional turbulence all over again? I just told her that I hoped she and hubby could make the best decision for the both of them and then accept whatever consequences coming out of the decision. And I hoped that she and hubby were on the same page concerning the decision.
Anyway, back to the August babies. My bro asked me to find some baby boy's names months ago and I gave him at least a dozen. Mind you, it was TOUGH to try to find out what kind of names (or meanings of the names) that the parents would love, even though he's my own brother. Anyway, turned out that the second first name was one of the names I gave him (actually it's one of the names I've liked since long ago and I did tell him so when I told him about that particular name - they do tweak it a little by adding two additional letters at the back of it, but still it feels nice to know that they do use it 'coz that was probably the only time I could contribute to a child's name in my entire life). :-D
Other than that, we've had a really relaxing two weeks in Bulgaria. We were feeling lazy this time, so we didn't really travel around to other places, even though it was possible to do so. We had two full body massages that was rather cheap, but quite satisfying. Now my challenge is to try to remember the things I need to remember at work and to remember the new things I have to do and figure out where things are at work 'coz they've changed the layout pretty drastically while I was in Bulgaria. But it sure feels nice to come back home and be able to catch up with friends and blogger friends. :-)
Sounds like you had a lovely holiday. I had to laugh about the Angry Birds thing. DH and I also tend to stay inside (when at the beach) in air-conditioning when the weather is really hot ... and this summer, we're both addicted to a game called Dragon Zumu. (That's my first confession - please, nobody judge me! lol)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were able to contribute to your nephew's name. It made me think. My sister, when she had my niece, actually told me she was considering two names, and asked my opinion. The name she chose was the name I preferred, but I always assumed that my opinion didn't count. Until now. Now I'm wondering if she realised I'd never have the chance to name a child, and that's why she asked.
I didn't really play Angry Birds much at home, but it was fun to spend time with hubby playing it together - we helped each other tackle the levels he he...Dragon Zumu? I have to look it up first. :-)
DeleteSo your sister chose the name you preferred? That's COOL! :-) Yeah, that was also what I felt when my bro asked for name ideas, 'coz he didn't do that with his first child.
Hi Amel - I feel for you I had Aleyna after nine years and throughout those years it was other people [friends family and strangers] that would constantly bring the topic and offer 'suggestions'. As long as you and your partner are happy with life then I hope God gives you the courage and peace to face everyone with conviction and firmness of your decision.
ReplyDeleteHi, Amber, nice to see you here. THANK YOU for your kind words. I remember your story as well and I recall we had some conversation about it concerning how nosy people are in the East about the topic of offspring.
DeleteWe're both happy, but it just seems that it's harder for some people to accept that a couple who tried having children before can be happy with life without kids once they decide that TTC isn't something they want to do anymore and that they've moved on from that broken dream. I know that in reality there are "miracle" pregnancies and that I'm still statistically "young enough" to get pregnant, but because we both know we're not trying, I find it futile for other people to keep on praying for us to be pregnant.
So glad you had a great and relaxing holiday. Nothing like lazing around the pool!
ReplyDeleteI think it takes a while for others to catch on to the childfree acceptance that we have to do. They know how passionate we were about the dream and how glad they are for having children and they just keep wanting that for us. The problem I have is that I find it sweet in some people and annoying in others! Go figure! Perhaps it has to do with the way they do it or perhaps the intention behind their words. I don't know!
Hi, Annie!
DeleteWell, I'd have thought that after 3 years my mom should've known better, but apparently it ain't that easy to let go of that wish.
Yeah, I also think sometimes it depends on our mood and the timing as well as what they say to us he he he...