I've been wondering about grief cycles in my own experience lately. I don't think that each cycle is the same, though. I think that if we allow ourselves to open the door, sit a while with that grief, listen to it, and give it room to share its wisdom, we'll learn different things each time because there are so many different layers of losses that we have to deal with in this type of journey. And I feel that each time the cycle starts, the starting point is getting further and further away from the point of origin.
I also think that each time I learn a new trick on how to deal with the grief wave as it comes. Sometimes it's a learned trick that I've honed for a while, other times it just comes out of the blue (natural self-defense instinct), other times I come up with an experimental tool to deal with a new wave of grief.
All I can say is that when I switch my perspective into "What can I learn this time (about myself, other people, or whatever)?", I can even feel excited about inviting grief inside (may be kinda weird to put it this way, but I'm telling it as it is here). It's like grief is an old friend coming for a visit and I'm looking forward to getting some insight. And we can even enjoy a relaxing chat over tea and sweet buns. :-)
In this post I'd also love to share some brilliant links:
1. Ten Things I've Learned About Trauma.
2. You Can't Please All The People All The Time.
3. Why Miscarriage Matters When You're Pro-Life.