I smiled and said, "Thank you."
Then she asked, "Are you having a baby? You look like you've gained weight lately."
I chuckled and said, "No, no, no baby. I look bigger also because I'm wearing my back warmer." (lifting up my jacket to show it)
FYI: It's true that I've gained some weight ever since I started working 2 years ago.
Then she said again, "But I meant what I said. You two DO look happy."
We just smiled and said nothing in return and the topic quickly changed.
Mind you, I have nothing against her because I know that she isn't being nosy. She genuinely would love to see our child. At one point in time in the beginning of our TTC journey she had said in a very excited tone of voice that she would even knit something for our child. And no, the person isn't my MIL. She knows better not to ask such a thing from us. However, she's not that close, either, so we're not divulging more details.
I must admit it felt a bit ironic when we had just finished the conversation. Ironic because it crossed her mind that the thing that made us look happy was probably related to pregnancy. What I decided to do, though, after the short conversation was to bask in her words on our happiness as a couple instead on dwelling too much on the irony. :-)
Life isn't perfect and each of us has our own scars and problems to deal with, but we just have to make the best of it.
glitter-graphics.com
Love this post and the fact that we couples who are infertile can look just as happy as the fertile couples do. Sometimes going thru the all that heartbreak eventually brings us to the other side (making the best of what we have), so that we can find happiness in our lives being childless.
ReplyDeleteTrue, true, Jen. Finding happiness once our dreams fell through is a journey, but it is really possible. :-)
DeleteLinking through from Pink Elephants. You handled that situation very tactfully. I am new to reading your blog, so I don't know whether this was a person who was close enough to you to know that you are having fertility problems; but I often wonder why people ever make comments like that.
ReplyDeleteHi, Kate, THANKS for dropping by and leaving a comment here. I don't have too many readers in this blog 'coz my main blog is Amel's Realm he he...
DeleteWell, I can't say I'm that close to the person to know we're having fertility problems, but my MIL is very close to her, though I don't know how much she's told her about us (but based on her words, I don't think MIL has told her too much). But anyway, if she had said the words years back when we were still in the throes of trying to have a baby, I'm pretty sure I would have reacted in a very different way he he he...
Oh yeah, as to why people make comments like that...I think that it's the projection of their wish for us to be able to have kids. She is a woman who has lots of kids and so many grandkids and I'm sure she loves spending time with them. That's probably why she would like us to have kids, too (other than the fact that I did tell her at one point that we wanted kids).
DeleteI think sometimes it's other people who knew we wanted kids that have more trouble letting go of that dream, you know?
I love your response to her comment. I probably would have felt negative about it, but you have a very good point:)
ReplyDeleteI wasn't PMSing at that time, so that helped, too. :-) And I guess having ditched TTC for a few years already is the biggest help of all. :-)
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