IF Glasses
I wrote a blog post in my regular blog relating to infertility and a movie I find relatable for an infertile, but I'm too lazy to edit it to be more suitable here, but if you're interested in reading it (also 'coz I wanna know what you think about it), here's the link:
Hi Amel. I think you did a good job of explaining the acceptance that people in our situations want.
ReplyDeleteSomething that I have been thinking about is the need for people to tell us about miracles. Isn’t the point of a miracle happening being that this event should be unexpected? So, if we spend our lives waiting around for a miracle, it really isn’t a miracle is it? Correct me if I am wrong, I’m still thinking about this.
THANKS for your input on my post.
DeleteYou make me think about miracles. Hmmm...it does make sense what you say - that one aspect (or meaning) of a miracle is its unexpectedness.
But in terms of pregnancy, I suppose unless there's something that makes you 100% unable to get pregnant on your own, it's the kind of "miracle" that isn't 100% unexpected. This kind of miracle may something that may be unlikely or highly unlikely for some people, but not impossible. And because more often than not, the people who hear stories about "miracle preggies" are those who've been trying to have a baby for a while, then it's not really totally "unexpected" if you do get pregnant in the end because you've (still) been trying anyway.
Hmmm...am I just running in circles here or what? He he he...I suppose it all depends on what miracles mean to you personally.
But I think what non-IFers don't understand about IF and "spending our lives waiting around for a preggy miracle" is how devastating IF can be and how far-reaching the devastation can affect (it can even affect strangers!), how fatal the festering wounds can be for ourselves, so they seem to think it's better to encourage us with hope.
I agree with you. I guess I am just trying to define what a "miracle" does mean to me. It is just my opinion, but recently it seems like the word gets used quite frequently and not with the same meaning that I would put on it. Not here in this blog world, but in my IRL world.
DeleteI hear you on the meaning of miracles. I think I've started using it to describe so many other things, too - not just the unexpected he he...Probably due to my effort to see the world with "fresh eyes" because I'm afraid of taking too many things for granted.
DeleteI was going to say the same thing, Path, when you said it- trying to define what a miracle is. I was going to say "it depends on how one shapes miracles, categorize types of miracles (from medical to holistic), and of whether one may consider miracles as something to take responsibility for, or to give credit for. You know? For example, I have always taken it a miracle how much I could be patient with individuals with intellectual disabilities- so I give credit to myself *and* take responsibility for it, you know?
ReplyDeleteSometimes people would say "You'll find a miracle baby", so I'd ask, "how do you define a miracle baby? Something for me to find in the cabbage patch" (or something similar like that, it depends on my mood.) I feel to some people, miracles are defined as something "given" to you, not realizing the reality of infertility (either medical interventions, adoption, surrogacy, or going childless by choice).
Wow, and that's a MIRACLE for me to talk like this without snapping or crying here (next door neighbor just brought over her new baby from hospital earlier today.)
Thanks for the opportunity to debate about miracles!
You're welcome to write about anything you want here, Wolfers. :-)
DeleteI personally think of conception as a miracle in itself. The first time I felt this way was when one close friend got pregnant (the first one in the group). I followed her pregnancy and I was there the day after the baby was born...and it amazed me that such a baby could be growing inside her womb. It's just so amazing! Maybe this is the "miracle" that those people mean, too? I don't know...
THANKS for sharing your POV on miracles. Never thought of it that way - that it's something you give credit to yourself. :-)
I just wanted to say I loved your IF Glasses post.
ReplyDeleteI get very frustrated when people talk about miracle babies, as if they're something everyone can get. I mean, aren't miracles considered to be miracles because they are very rare/not supposed to be able to happen? Still, I really shouldn't join this discussion, as I don't really believe in miracles - I believe in statistics and the randomness of chance.
THANKS for sharing your POV, Mali. Miracles is a very personal thing, eh? Either you believe it or not...either you believe it to have certain meanings, etc.
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