Friday, January 17, 2014

On Being Inclusive

Is it possible to be inclusive? I've been wondering about this matter for a while now. I think in this fast-paced world, it's easier to feel left out or excluded, especially with online medias where people keep on posting and reposting sentiments such as "You'll never know real/true love until..." or "There's no greater joy than..." or "You'll never be a real woman/man until..." or "I feel so blessed because of..." or "Thank God for..." or "I have the best mother/husband/dad/wife...repost this if you have them, too" or "Breastfeeding is best" and the list goes on. And it becomes worse when the same kind of sentiment keeps on being spread from one person to another in your circle at different times.

It's all good when you're "in the club" when you read all those sentiments, but what if you're not in the club? It gets problematic when you have this invisible grief that people don't acknowledge and on bad days, those exclusive sentiments hit you like the sharpest spearhead thrown right at you from a place where you least expect and it split your heart in two, leaving you reeling in pain and wanting to ask the person who threw the spear at you, "How could you do this to me?!?!?!?!?! Look at what you've done!". 

On the other hand, the person who threw the spear didn't even know that it was a spear. In his/her mind, he/she was throwing you a candy in hope that you'd also agree that the candy was tasty or interesting or inspiring.

In the old days, sentiments like the ones I wrote in the first paragraph didn't really show up right in your face the way they do today. Here's my point:

OK, try to imagine that you have to address a group of people in the streets from different backgrounds, but you have to make sure you take into account every single one of their life stories (even if you don't know them, you just have to use your imagination). The topic can be anything, but try imagining saying things that wouldn't hurt anyone at all to the best of your ability. Try being aware that each time you're thankful for something, that very thing may be hurtful for someone else in the group. 

You know what? Just thinking about every possible scenario gives me a headache. So I think it's pretty much impossible to be inclusive, because it's just impossible to know each person's tender spots. I'm not saying that one should be crass and insensitive, but I think if we expect people (in the social media) to be sensitive, then we're in for a lot of disappointment

I want to stress again that I'm NOT saying that people shouldn't give a damn about what other people feel/think, but each of us has to deal with what we feel and then decide on the best possible ways to manage our feelings and the impact of what other people post/say to our psyche (whether it means hiding some people, staying away from certain online medias, taking a break from certain online medias, etc.)

Anyway, enough talk about heavy stuff. Let me share with you something that I enjoy watching instead: 


  1. That video was really funny! And very true.

    And I enjoyed your thoughts on inclusion/exclusion. I often think about that, and wonder how we are to achieve inclusion, without watering down what we want to say/who we want to be.

    1. Isn't it so funny? The first time I found it by accident, I was laughing so much because it had never occurred to me that it could be that creepy hi hi hi hi hi...

      I sometimes kinda feel like I have separated my thoughts into two sections - the happy-go-lucky mostly go to my main blog, whereas this blog is more about the rugged parts of my life ha ha...


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