Sunday, January 12, 2014

A Superhero In My Mind

I wrote this the other day in Gateway Woman Google+ community and it's about time I posted it here for my own personal record.

"Last night the pregnant close friend finally disclosed the gender of the baby. It's a girl, she said.

And then the clash between two worlds started again (I could almost see the two worlds coming closer and closer together, threatening to overlap each other). Then I remembered my word of the year: Disentangle.

The thoughts that came to my brain were: "If only...this could've been my experience...if it had happened to me, my MIL would have been ecstatic (she only has 2 grandsons and three sons, no daughters or grand-daughters and when we were trying she jokingly said she was hoping for a grand-daughter)..."

But then I remembered my word of the year and I had this superhero vision in my head. I was standing tall (pun intended 'coz I'm only 145 cm) in between those two worlds: her experience (her feelings, her happiness, her reality) versus my "could-have-been" (my feelings, my grief, my reality) and I imagined a blast of energy coming out of my palms, separating the two worlds.

Funnily enough, it worked. I could respond to her emails normally, without any emotional burdens. I may not be able to be a superhero in real life, but I can have super powers in my own mind LOL!!! 

OK, I must admit it helps that I'm not having my PMS, but just wanna share that the visualisation was so strong that I was amazed at its benefit on my psyche. :-D

P.S. Because blue is my fave colour, naturally I had blue energy shield coming out of my palms LOL!"

I must write down some notes here to make sure nobody misunderstands this post above.

First of all, disentangling doesn't mean that I deny whatever it is I'm feeling. It doesn't mean the refusal to deal with my feelings. On the contrary, it helps me be there for my friend without having my own losses and/or grief dampening the cause of her happiness. After being there for her, I can then deal with my own feelings in my own space of choice: either here in my blog or in GW community, which has been such a beloved community for me.

Secondly, I felt such a HIGH for a few hours after writing that post in the GW community. Seriously, when I went to work after writing that post, I felt like walking in the air. I felt so light and I felt like jumping up and down in joy and I felt a rush of energy in my entire body. :-D So I'm writing this down here because I want to know how useful this technique is for the future. 


  1. I am not sure why I have mostly been able to deal better with talk of pregnancy or being around new mothers... this has been very recent for me also. I started disconnecting their experience and my path in life. I like your word: disentangling!

    1. Certain pregnancies or children are still tough for me. That was why I needed this trick - though I actually came across it by accident (perhaps my own instinct???). Glad to know you're at that stage of your healing journey. :-)


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