Right after exercise we went to sauna and sure enough, my mood had lightened up so much after that, though while hubby was making funny jokes in sauna, this slipped through my mind, "Oh, what a shame it is not to have an opportunity to see a young hubby with that quirky sense of humour!" However, it was a fleeting thought and I refused to dwell on it too long.
Before going to bed, I noticed that in FB another friend has just posted her latest pic with a preggy belly. I was a bit surprised - not because I didn't expect that, but because I did the math. You see, we met last year in spring and at that time I knew she hadn't tried having a baby yet, though she was going to do that 'coz she had been talking about babies with her spouse. In the picture she must be at least 4 months already 'coz I can already see the belly clearly. What I mostly feel was/is amazement that some people can just "get pregnant" easily (or seemingly easily - I know that's not the case in the other three people's pregnancies that I mentioned above besides SIL's).
I know it sounds silly to be amazed at something like this, but I just can't get over it because over the past years nothing has happened to us. Nothing. Zero. Zilch. But this amazement is more like the feeling you get when you see someone do an amazing magic trick and then you ask, "How on earth can someone do such a thing?" Something like that. So no more anger towards God.
Anyway, right now I'm feeling just fine, though I'm not particularly over-the-top happy over their pregnancies, but not too melancholic at least. I'm sure in time I'll be happier for them esp. when the babies come, but right now I'm not in that place yet. Well, at least I'm not envying them for their pregnancies so that's a step forward. :-) One thing I feel right now, though, is a feeling that this year's gonna be filled with more baby/pregnancy announcement 'coz another friend is TTC, so it's only a matter of time that she'll be preggy, too.
Note to self: I think at this phase, it's easier for me to accept at the most two pregnancy/baby announcement at a time (esp. if it's a close friend's) in terms of being over-the-top happy for someone else's pregnancy. Being bombarded by many different pregnancy/baby announcements in a short period of time is still a bit too much, though unlike in the past, it doesn't threaten to drown me in complete doomsday prophecy, but it does make me melancholic.
P.S. Hey, at least the workout strategy does work to elevate my mood! Next time I feel melancholy at bay again, I should try it again! :-D Bring on the endorphins!!!! :-D
