Then she wrote a baking analogy that made me think. She said that it was like they were both preparing a cake together and then they put in in the oven. It was then up to God whether or not to light the fire of the oven.
I told her that in our case, it felt like the cake was gone from the oven every time we gained nothing (no pregnancy). The most painful thing did not derive from the wasted invested time or effort, but probably the wasted invested combined love we had for our imagined child. It felt weird for me to write those words, but I'm going to write it down here just for the record.