I do believe in causes and consequences, but I also believe that this world is as random as can be. I believe that people have choices to make and that some choices may yield bad results and that is one reason why there's chaos everywhere. I do believe that some choices we make may yield good results, but there's never a guarantee that if we make good choices then we'll get good results in the end.
Sometimes the choices people make are more limited than others and sometimes the only choice they can make is just to choose a better attitude/POV. I believe that God doesn't promise anyone an easy life, but for those who believe in God and lean on Him, He will definitely help them throughout life's many ups and downs because He cares enough to have sent His son to save us.
When it comes to infertility, unless God himself has told someone directly that the infertility is the cause of that person's sins or whatever wrongdoing of his/hers, I don't believe that it's a punishment from God or a specific test from God (who's closed down the womb for unknown reasons). During our TTC days, I did wonder if He didn't deem us fit/ready as parents. I struggled with it A LOT. But it doesn't make any sense if I try to think of it logically because it is clear that some people don't look ready to be parents.
After the struggle, I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter whether or not I understand what God has in mind. It doesn't matter even if I haven't received the "blessings" that I have asked and prayed for. It doesn't matter even if I will never ever get the "blessings" that I long for/longed for. He cares about me and He has comforted me in ways that I could have not done on my own. He has sustained me through the storm and that's enough. After all, sometimes He calms the storm and sometimes He calms the child.
And thus, when it comes to blessings, this is what I believe in:
i struggle a lot with why God doesn't see me to be fit to be a mother when girls that are just that....young girls, can become pregnant and they can't even take care of themselves yet. i suppose my focus does just need to be that He is sustaining me...and maybe He will calm the child (I do love that song BTW). i am in the beginning stages of acceptance after 7 years of TTC, and it's a very emotionally draining experience. thanks for your insight. i enjoy reading your blog!
ReplyDeleteLeanne, I struggled A LOT with that thought as well in the beginning and I was SO angry at Him. But after getting His peace despite the storms, I've come to understand that it doesn't matter even if I don't understand. Even if I will never understand. It's a LONG process from anger and questions to being satisfied even without any answers, though. :-)
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