Friday, January 1, 2010

Trying to Understand the Land of IF

Just been browsing around while enjoying the holiday, trying to understand more the land of IF so that I won't feel "shocked" whenever something happens to me later on in the future. Let's see what I managed to gather today:

1. This is the excerpt of a book called: "The Belated Baby: Healing Yourself After the Long Journey of Infertility":

Approximately 7.3 million American women have struggled with infertility. Most of them, whether or not they use fertility treatments, do not realize that when they have their baby (or babies)—whether through birth or via adoption - the echoes of their infertility will be felt long after they are living out their dream of having their own baby.

Jill S. Browning and Kelly James-Enger explain that infertility is a mind-set and that every woman who experiences infertility is forever changed, even when she eventually has the child she yearned for. When many women who have gone through fertility treatments describe their experience, they say it “abused their soul.” 

The experience may have also hurt their relationship with their husband and sometimes permanently altered relationships with their extended families. Studies show that even after the desperation of infertility subsides, emotional wounds still fester and an asterisk accompanies her bundle of joy. 

Infertile women often find themselves mentally unprepared for motherhood. They feel they have no right to complain about the frustration and confusion that all new sleep-deprived parents experience. After all, they worked so hard to have a baby and, moreover, spent thousands of dollars for costly procedures. They also may be conflicted about working, even if their families need the income. She’s waited so long for this baby. How can she leave him or her to go back to work? 

2. This line is from a book called "My Little One":

Infertility has robbed Emma Bronfman of her self-esteem, self-image and self-respect.

This brought me to the Discussion Guide I found the other day: What most influences my self-worth? That's a tough question to answer. There are lots of things in the discussion guide that make me think. 

Well, I think I've got enough information and reflection for today. It seems that the more I read about the land of IF, the more I realize how dangerous this "baby quest" can be for a marriage (other than my own sanity, that is). I should be really careful about this, especially 'coz when I feel downright cynical, sad, and melancholic, I might take it out on hubby (and other people), even though the problem is within ME. I should always remember this. Remember this, Amel!!! 

No comments:

Post a Comment

THANKS for dropping by and for leaving a comment. :-) I truly appreciate it. :-)