Tuesday, March 6, 2012

After A Wedding Party

Went to a friend's wedding party last Saturday and as usual when I meet new people, they ask, "Do you have kids?"

I answered no. I didn't feel any stabs or anything, though. Nor did I feel any need to explain anything (like what I felt in previous events when the topic came up).

Another person said, "Not yet" and I just laughed.

I explained to another person who also said something like "maybe in the future then" that life without kids is fine. Thankfully she didn't say anything else about the topic and she let it go.

The wedding went great and I almost shed some tears during the first dance 'coz it took me right back to my own wedding day. No, we didn't have any first dance that day 'coz it's not common to have that kind of thing in Indonesia, but still I remember the sacredness, the importance, the beauty of the day. Dreamy sigh...

Below is a pic of the dining room where we had the party...

P.S. Just wanna write down this post to mark what happens to me and what I feel during specific moments in my IF survivor period.


  1. hi! sorry it's taken me so long to reply/catch up!

    we get asked this question a lot - and it came up this weekend (i'll post about it).

    i hope you are doing well, Amel.

    So - what's the current weather in Finland?

  2. I'm glad there were no stabs. It is frustrating though that others wouldn't let you just answer the question, but had to add the "not yet" comments. Grrr.

    And I struggle not to cry at weddings too, these days!

  3. @Dana: Nice to hear from you again. No worries about not catching up. Life can be really busy he he...

    I'm doing well, thanks...just a little under the weather after the trip but nothing else. Spring has started and it's getting warmer and we're getting more and more sunlight here. It's around -5'C at the mo.

    @Mali: Yeah, I wonder why they had to feel that they should give me "hope" by saying "not yet". Oh welllll he he he...maybe they thought it was what I needed.

    Yeah, weddings are really something, eh? :-D THANKS for dropping by.

  4. Good for you Amel for holding your ground and not feeling like you owed anyone anything...because you don't! People are so pushy sometimes!

  5. @Cici: Yeah, I was nicely surprised as well at how I felt - no more feeling of needing to explain anything to anyone he he...:-D

  6. It irks me when people assume that because I am of child-bearing age that I a) have kids or b) can't wait until I have them. Not everyone wants them!

    Explaining such a personal situation to strangers has always weirded me out.

  7. @Claire: It used to irk me so much (esp. when we found out we were IF and we were still TTC), but I was surprised that it didn't irk me that much during the party. :-)

    I guess most people of child-bearing age do have kids or want to have kids in the future, so the "consensus" is that it's considered normal to ask those questions. This is esp. true in Indonesia, where living together and sex outside of marriage are considered taboo.


THANKS for dropping by and for leaving a comment. :-) I truly appreciate it. :-)