Thursday, June 21, 2012

PMS Mode

Last night I watched "The Accidental Husband" (Uma Thurman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan) 'coz I was in the mood to watch a light, romantic comedy. The movie itself was what I had expected, but what really made me feel disappointed was the ending. Disappointment may not be the correct term, though. 

How to put it? Ummm...well, first of all if I have to explain it here, I have to give a SPOILER ALERT first, so if you're interested in watching the movie, stop reading NOW!!!

Btw, here's the imdb link to the movie: The Accidental Husband I can continue in peace...

As in many others romantic comedies, you can sort of guess the ending, but what really got me was the last minute of the movie, where it showed a bulging belly and the hubby and the wife shared a special look of fondness between them.

I was wondering what on earth made me want to say, "Oh for goodness sake!!!" when I saw it. 

I was like...what? Why did I feel like that?

It's not like I want to be pregnant anymore (in fact, I'm not so sure I want kids anymore - though I suspect a great degree of this feeling may be affected by self-defense mechanism, but the bottom line is that we're used to thinking of the future without kids for the past 1,5 years). So it wasn't because of envy or anything like that. 

I searched my soul and heart and mind and realized that what bothered me was the fact that the movie propagates that THE ultimate happy ending for a couple to have is when there's an additional family member coming in the form of a child/children. 

I was groaning inside after I saw the ending. Why couldn't they just leave it without the bulging belly? The last minute of the movie made me feel like what we have now is "less than"

I know this may be PMS mood talking, but to be honest I'm tired of people's "silent/not-so-silent" hope that we can still have kids in the future (that we still have time). 

How can you make them understand that it's not about having time still? That miracles do happen, but that doesn't necessarily mean you want it to happen to you anymore - not that specific miracle anyway (but you believe that you've been granted so many other types of miracles and that's more than enough)? Nor do you believe that that specific pregnancy miracle will happen to you anyway? 

That their hope of a surprise preggy does nothing to make you feel better (not that I need them to make me feel better anyway 'coz I do love and am enjoying my life to the fullest and I have learnt to live life without kids much better than expected and that they should rejoice with me because hell, it ain't easy to reach this stage)? In fact, that kind of hope doesn't really affect me in any other way other than make me feel that they just don't understand? Oh well...let me just stop ranting...On normal days, I know that I won't feel this way, but I just feel like ranting now he he he...


  1. Rant away. I agree with you. I get very frustrated at this. It's propagating the idea that you're not complete without the baby, that that is the ultimate happy ending, and it is frustrating not just for those of us who can't have children, but for those who choose not to, too, or for those who had the baby, but no happy ending. I can think of other movies that end that way too - Notting Hill for one. Gag!

  2. @Mali: Oh, I've forgotten the ending of Notting Hill. THANKS for sharing your POV. Frustrating is the right word. Indeed.

    While writing the post, I was also reminded of my happy single friends that probably feel some pressure to find a spouse in Indo (Indo people are nosy concerning stuff like this).

  3. I hear you, although in a different media- I'd be reading books, and to have the main female character to announce she is pregnant by the end is always a mood-spoiler for me. I find myself less and less reading romance novels due to that... At first, I thought maybe I was hypersensitive to pregnancy stuff in the books, maybe they published more books out there since my surgery- so I went to check my library (yeah I have my own library)... turned out I have a lot of romances with pregnancy or baby at the end long before the surgery. And that made me realize something more...I hadn't found a romance or two yet where a woman is childless yet is happy with her love. Blast the media/social expectations! :/
    Amel- I can assent to that- of being single happy and getting the pressure. Wherever I go, of social events, I'd always been asked if I'm married- I'd say no..I'd be a millionaire, no..., billionaire for the expected answer, "No..? I know someone that you'd like, let me introduce you to him... (or let me set up a date with him)..." Oy vey.

    1. THANKS for your comment and sharing your POV about being single and feeling the pressure.

      Now I feel like Homer and I just want to say: DOHHHHH!!!!

      And you're right, we need more romantic stories not involving kids. :-)

  4. I find myself saying "of course" when I watch anything or read something that ends with a pregnancy. Why do they have to ruin the ending for me?
    If you find a good way to convince people that they no longer need to try to convince someone to have hope for a baby, let me know! I haven’t found a good way to close that subject with people.

    1. Yeah, I also found myself saying that sometimes - or just rolled my eyes he he he...

      Ah, unfortunately I don't know how to convince people on that matter - unless I can tell them I've got my menopause already he he...


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