Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Why Not Adopt?

Well, in this post I just want to share why we aren't really sure about adoption. First of all, I think we're still hanging on to the hope of "passing our genes" to our kids and we don't know yet when we're going to let go of that hope.

Another thing that makes adoption a bit less of our option is hubby's age. 'Coz of the wonderful social benefits in Finland for mothers-to-be and parents and the fact that education is almost free for kids here, it would be (almost) impossible to find an abandoned baby here. So it means Finnish people (who want to adopt) adopt kids from abroad. I've read online that other countries have different maximum age difference requirements between the adopted baby and the adoptive parents. Hubby turns 40 next year and many countries have set the max. age difference to be 35 years old or at the most 40 years old.

Considering the fact that it takes around 1.5 or 2 years to get an adoptive child, it means we can't get small babies (at the youngest, we'll probably get a 2-year-old)...and 'coz we're not even sure about adoption yet, the longer we wait, the less likely we are to adopt 'coz we both think it's better to adopt younger babies than older children.

So I'm not really sure if we'll ever adopt 'coz of the above reasons...


  1. I think that the toughest thing about all of this infertility thing is that so much stuff is out of our hands. I really hope that some day you are able to have a child of your own!

  2. Phoebe: EXACTLY!!! There are so many things to think about and yet even after considering all the options and choosing one of them, you'll never know what happens at the end of it - it might not work out well. THANK YOU for your kind words. Considering our options, having our own kids seems to be "the easiest way out" ---> pun intended he he he...

  3. oh girl. i'm so familiar with what you are saying. we are looking at local adoption now but the chances are slim because the govt takes good care of babies and moms here... plus there is also sadly a high abortion rate here too, so overall the babies up for adoption are very very few.

    we also have taken note of the age restrictions for international adoption. we have a bit of time left... but for us the cost financially is so high.

    but i so know what you mean! well-meaning people talk about adoption like it is an easy option to creating an instant family. but they don't always know the difficult reality of it too.

  4. Sas: Yeah, with this IF journey it seems that there are so many blocked doors - or it seems like we're ramming into walls when it comes to so many things we have to consider to get babies...whether it's about money or other things...


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